


Families Ever Changing

by Living_Free



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Universe, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is sensitive, Crack, Damian gets a pet, Fluff, Humor, Jason is vindictive, M/M, batfamily, family dysfunction, in the best way possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9331883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Dick has a confession, Jason couldn't care less, Tim and Cassandra are scared, Damian gets a pet, and Bruce is a worn out parent.Also, Slade is absolutely thrilled.None of this is good for Bruce's blood pressure, and he's not getting any younger, dammit.





	

After patrol one night, Jason slunk into his apartment in high spirits - beating the shit out of Two Face was always good fun - eager for some alone time. He was immediately denied this simple desire when he realized that he was not alone, and that there was a pair of bright eyes staring at him from the kitchen.

"I'm going to punch you if you don't tell me who you are," Jason groused. "You're interrupting my masturbation schedule."

There was a disgusted noise, and Dick Grayson stepped out of the shadows, clearly fresh from patrolling his own part of town. "You're gross, Jay," he muttered. 

Jason rolled his eyes. "How did you get into my house, Golden Boy?"

"I climbed in through the vents," Dick admitted. "I also ate your cheerios." Jason scowled at his brother's irreverent attitude and gestured for him to continue. "I...have to tell you something," Dick went on. 

"Spit it out, already," Jason groaned. 

"Not yet," Dick said. "I want to tell everyone in one shot."

Jason's eyes widened in horror as Tim dropped down into his kitchen through the vent, closely followed by Cassandra and Damian. "No! This is a secret location! Go away!"

"Dick told us to convene here," Damian said. "I came for him. I care not for your "secrets" or your derelict home."

Tim merely sneezed, his dust allergy having gotten the better of him. "You need to clean," he said sullenly. "Oh my God, is that a rat!?" He shrieked, huddling close to his equally terrified sister, pointing at the counter. Damian happily coaxed the small rodent into his hands, and settled it in his pocket. 

"Can I keep him?" He asked Dick, the very picture of an innocent child. 

Like the boob that he was, Dick smiled and nodded, completely blind to his baby brother's true demon-like personality. "Of course, sweetie," he said indulgently. "Just keep him away from your father - he doesn't much like rodents."

"Tt," Damian said, displeased. "He has no taste. Unlike you," he added, smiling ingratiatingly at Dick, who grinned back. 

"What," Jason gritted out, "are you doing here?"

"Oh," Dick said, coming back to the task at hand. "I have to tell you all something." He took a deep breath. "I've met a man."

There was a long silence, which was broken by Jason's angry, "And?"

"You know Deathstroke?" Dick asked hesitantly.

Tim looked scandalized. "Dick! He's the same age as our father!"

"Ew," Cassandra agreed, looking disgusted. "Also villain," she added. 

Jason just laughed. "Hey, when you tell Bruce, can I watch? This might just kill him!" That earned him a well placed kick to the knee by Damian. 

"I'm not seeing Deathstroke," Dick clarified. "I'm seeing his son, Joey."

There was a contemplative silence at this. "...Joey Wilson?" Tim asked. "He's alright. He was in my Art History class at college when he did an exchange semester. Quiet guy."

"He's mute," Dick said. "But he's very sweet." 

"Wasn't he, like, a crazy mercenary who was trapped in his astral form in a computer at Titans Tower for a while?" Jason asked hesitantly. When Dick looked shifty, Jason gasped. "You started an affair with a computer!? Dick, you dirty boy! I didn't know you had it in you, good job!" He said proudly.

"He has a body now," Dick muttered lowly. "I wanted to come clean with Bruce about him, and Joey wants to tell Slade too," he went on. "I need you guys as moral support."

Cassandra nodded, patting Dick's arm soothingly. "You're stupid," she said succinctly, "but you're *our* stupid."

"For the record, I think this is stupid, too," Tim chimed in. "But you're my favorite brother, and I love you, so I'll support you."

"Can I threaten Wilson's life?" Jason asked excitedly. "I've always wanted to give a guy The Talk, just to watch him squirm." Dick sighed and nodded, pleased that Jason was at least on his side. 

Damian cleared his throat. "Will you..." he petered off, and started again with more force, "will you move away from us? When you wed the odious Wilson?"

Dick looked down at his uncharacteristically insecure brother, before sweeping him into a giant hug, squishing a flustered Damian to his chest. "Of course not!" Dick said. "Joey has a job in an art gallery here! He's moving to be with me. I won't just up and leave you, Dami, not for any man." Damian smiled, relievied, and allowed himself to be smushed in a long hug. As long as he wouldn't lose his best friend and brother, he was happy. 

Dick put Damian down, and took a deep breath, steeling himself. "Let's tell Bruce."

\-----------

"Why have you called a family meeting on a rooftop, in the freezing cold?" Batman growled at his eldest. Behind Dick, Jason was bouncing animatedly, while Tim, Cas, and Damian looked nervous. Bruce frowned, immediately suspicious. Anything that made Jason happy couldn't bode well for him. "Oh my God," Bruce exclaimed, pointing at Dick "you're pregnant, aren't you? Richard Jackson Grayson-Wayne, I did not raise you to see this day!"

Dick frowned. "No, I'm not pregnant," he said. "Also, my middle name isn't Jackson, that's Tim's name. Mine is Richard John. Also, how would I get pregnant?"

Bruce sniffed. "You don't want to know," he muttered, his mind going back to the brief time where The Flash had pissed off a witch who had had him experience an accelerated pregnancy for a week, until the League had begged her to remove her spell. "Okay, so I haven't failed as a parent. Why did you call us here?"

"I wanted you to meet the man I love," Dick announced. "Joey? Come on out," he called. Bruce's stomach dropped as he recognized Joey Wilson a.k.a. Jericho drop down from the sky, and take Dick's hand. 

Joey calmly walked up to Bruce, hand-in-hand with Dick, and smiled. he signed politely. _Bruce stared in horror, a small whimper of anguish escaping him. _he went on, oblivious to Bruce's pain.__

Deathstroke stepped out slowly, his eyes taking in the situation. Batman looking horrified, his son holding hands with Nightwing, and Red Hood with a bag of popcorn that he was sharing with the rest of the Batkids, clearly enjoying the scene before them. After a while, Slade laughed. "Joey, for the first time in your life, I'm proud of you," he declared. Bruce shrieked in the confines of his own mind as Slade continued. "All that possession nonsense, then bleeding art school of all things, and now you've finally got someone who I can proudly call a son-in-law!"

Dick smiled. "Wow, Slade, I didn't think you'd react so well to us."

"Are you kidding?" Slade grinned. "I've always liked you, kid, you're a rare gem. Talented, smart, and kickass. You're way too good for my kid."

Joey signed hesitantly, before turning back to Bruce, who was shrinking into himself. 

Bruce snapped out of his pain and stalked over to Slade, dragging him aside. "What? What, what?" He asked angrily.

Slade just smiled. "Aw, come on. This is great! Just think of the kids that they'll have." 

Bruce paused. Grandkids. "Huh," he said, before passing out gracefully. 

\------------

Bruce regained conciousness in his own bed at the Manor, surrounded by his children. Annoyed, he smacked Jason across the head, eliciting a yelp from his second son. "What was that for!?"

"You were enjoying yourself at my expense," Bruce grouched. Jason shrugged, unable to deny this fact. 

"Well, yeah. It's fun to see you get worked up over nothing."

Bruce paused in his effort to smack Jason again. "Explain."

"You always overreact. Everything isn't black and white, you know. Dick can take care of himself, and Joey's pretty much gone on him. He'll do anything for Dick. Are you telling me that it's not exciting to have a powerful, astral, son-in-law?"

Bruce leaned back into the pillows to think, but found them to be hard and muscled. the pillow signe. 

"Gah!"

"Bruce, it's ok," Dick soothed him. Bruce quietened at his oldest's touch. Dick had always been the sweetest of his children. "We want your blessing for this, Bruce. We already have the approval of the rest of the family."

Tim nodded, while Cassandra absently tried to braid Bruce's short hair. Damian looked neutral, and played with a small critter in his hand. Upon closer inspection, Bruce screamed. "RAT!"

Damian held it out. "This is the newest member of our family. Say hello to Ratticus Wayne."

Bruce shuddered and looked at Joey, who looked sympathetic. he assured the frazzled man. Bruce looked at the boy, and felt a wave of calm settle over him. He was caring and clever, and obviously willing to put up with the Bats. 

"Fine. If you think you can handle our family, you're more than welcome to Dick's hand," Bruce said. 

"I don't think it's Dick's hand he wants," Jason said lasciviously. 

Bruce threw a pen stand at his son, while the happy couple hugged in the background. Tim made his way over with a paper in his hands. "This is a patrol and social schedule," he said, handing it to Joey. "You patrol with Damian and Dick every other night, and you get Damian on the weekends." Joey nodded happily. 

he remarked.

In the corner, Bruce fainted on top of Jason, flattening the smaller man.


End file.
